Crayons or no

Peanut, You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey, You'll never know dear how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away. The other night dear while I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistakin so I hung my head, and cried. He was my sunshine my only sunshine.He made me happy when skies where grey. You'll never know dear how much I miss him, because they took my sunshine away.

yeah, I added on that last verse. I'm gonna make a vid on youtube w/ that song, I'll put the link on here so you guys, Andrew and Davina, can see what he looked like

Well, Peanut was buried today, but Ms. linda told only my mom but told us not to come. I was mad that they didnt tell me, but thinking about it I was glad I didn't go. I would have been crying so bad to see him being dragged by a tractor and dropped into a large, cold hole in the ground. Well we just got back from moving Sadie and Elly, they seem depressed and relle seem to miss thei brother, they keppt looking for him and it was making me tear up. my avatar is a pic of him before he got sic, I have better pics I will put one up sometime durin the week. Um... so before we left Linda's stable we went down to where he was buried and said a few things, and again sang "You are my sunshine" crying as we did. But I'm very happy where he was buried. He was buried in a beautiful corner of the large pasture that has tall trees and a pond. He was also buried next to two other horses, ((Victor and some horse I don't kno, but I kno the owner)) So now he can finally be at peace. I think I'm starting to get better, but I keep forgetting he's gone. I'll think, "oh, my horse died" and its sad but them im like "omg, it was Peanut" and then its absolutely HORRIBLE. He didn't deserve it at all and its so unfair. But I learned a lot from him and I'll try not to cry much because I know he wouldn't want that. Just typing that last sentence made me tear up for some reason. But my heart aches so much and it was already cracked when my mum almost died, now its completely shattered. I unknowlingy already have been distancing myself from Elly and Sadie, to make it not hurt so much when they pass, but I know thats not right. so I want to be very close to them, becausse I'd rather have super happy memories that make me cry at night rather than none at all. So hopefully I will be able to get close to every animal I meet, even though I know the consiquences, It is ALL worth it. This is so unreal, I just want to wake up from this nightmare. :'(

aww
alexis i'm so sorry
i really am
if you want me to come over
just call me and i'll come right away
or you can come over here...
whichever way you want
peanut was an amazing horse
i'm sure he'll live on in your heart forever

awww, annie I love that post. It really came from the heart ((maybe.. lol)) I just miss him so much and I just can't believe something so horrible happened. and I feel relle bad cuz I feel that I should be crying more, but I'm just trying to be happy, for him. I have no clue what to do with my life right now. I love how much everyone loves peanut even after seing him only 2 times. cuz when we took Elly and Sadie to the new barn some of my show friends that know him kept asking where he was and when he was coming to that barn and it just made me want to hug him so much, but I guess I'll have to settle with only going to his grave and talking to him there, ya never kno, maybe wherever he is he can hear me. thinking about it actually, its kinda creepy that i was hugging and even next to a large dead animal, but when your actually there it doesn't feel weird at all... awww.. I just realized, when we got Peanut I was going to not call him "Bud" ((as in buddy)) because I felt that that was a nickname that only Blackie could have, but thinking now, I called him Bud all the time which -I don't kno if u understand what i mean, but- is a relle special thing. I don't know how to describe it. w/e I keep rambling on and on, its like a story. lol. but I have so many things I want to make for him in remembrance and I don have any time until at least after ssaturday. I have to draw two pictures to enter in fair cuz my mom signed me up for them and until this morning I had no clue what to draw, but now I know. One is going to be a drawing of peanut grazing in the field, maybe I'll put Elly and Sadie with him, and the other will be a drawing of him laying down in his stall. and on the top of both it will say " You are my sunshine, my only sunshine" or someting like that, maybe the whole verse and on the bottom it will say " You were my sunshine, my only sunshine" and therest of that verse that I had made. One other thing I want to do tpo just put on my door is made a gravestone out of posterboard cuz i know exactly what I wil write on it one thing will be " You Will Always Be , My One And Only Sunshine" haha, sry I had fun with caps. right before we left Linda's barn, Linda gave me an amazing gift. Since last night I had given a lock of Peanut's mane to my mom, Ms. Linda had cut some more of his mane (dont worry, he still has a long mane!!lol)) wrapped some ribbon around it, and put a little wooden horse on the ribbon and right now it is hanging on my bedroom door. wow, I meant for this to just be a short post, but I guess I just have too much time on my hands... ok, I'll stop now

ok, I drew one of the pics, and i don't have time to draw a second one to enter in time by saturday, since it took me the whole day to draw the laying down pic. but it is RELLE good. its the best thing i have EVER drawn!! I'm so happy on how it turned out. I mighht make it my avatar for a little while but then i'd have to take it out of the picture frame to scan it.... On the top I wrote: "You will always be, My one and only sunshine" and on the bottom I signed it then wrote: "R.I.P. Flaming Cowboy, aka Peanut" Flaming Cowboy is his show name. I'm so glad I took him to at least one show b4 he got sick, so I have 3 ribbons that I won with him tho one of them is ripped cuz he ate half of it. haha but its cute.well, talk to ya'll later! I still feel bad that I'm not crying every second... Is that ok?

yeah, its fine that you're not crying every second
its part of the grief process
i'm sure peanut wouldn't want you crying every second either

hahha
okay
alexis i had the weirdest dream ever
and it had you in it
and i have no idea why i had this dream either
okay
here it is
you came over to my house just to hang out one day and it was right at dinnertime so my mom was making this super special soup that was amazing and people were saying they would die without(haha) so while my mom was cooking you and i had to do a bunch of stuff... i can't remember most of it but i remember one was where when we went into the small tv room (you know which one i'm talking about... the one with the pull-out couch) it turned into this massave field and there was a bunch of hott guys running around in bull costumes and we had to run around and smack each one on the ass XD i have no idea why
and then i woke up as soon as we were finished
XD
i have insane dreams

lmfao. nice annie, nice. oo, my dream the other day had peanut in it... and the hwole day yesterday I couldn't find my hairbrush ((now I remember I left it in my gramma's car, so I'll get it back tonight when she comes ovr)) so in my dream I found my hairbrush, and then everything like turned kinda like an anime, and Shigure and I ((shigure is a charrie from my new fav. anime Fruits Basket.. he is freaking hilarious, he is like 28 but he acts like a kid)) and we both started singing "highschool girls highschool girls! all for me! highschool girls!!"((a funny song he sang in like 2 episodes)) and Kyo and Yuki kept rolling their eyes and telling us to shut up and I was like " but I found my hairbrush!!! oh magical hairbrush yaaayy!!!" and then Tohru ((girl)) was like "yay!! hairbrush dance!" and then more charries came in like Momiji ((boy but is always hyper)) and we were all dancing and stuff....... it was pretty funny. But ur dream is.. interesting... why were they in bull costumes?? from when we watched SPIKE tv with amazing vids where the bull jumped a 5 ft fence and landed in the audience?? ahha

here's the clips of him singing the song, at the end Kyo says, " a Yankee and a Phsycic" her one friend used to be in a gang, so I think thats why they call her a yankee.:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiOUpOHTZSY

hahha i have no idea why they were in bull costumes
but they were seriously hott

HA!! i think I made a record, or at least within my small group of friends that I kno who read these books, but I read "Breaking Dawn" 4th book in Twilight series, 754 pages, in only 12 hours, i was up 'til 6 30 in the morn cuz i counldn't put it down. now i have nothing else to read, arent i smart *gets all depressed* cuz I also finished the manga i was reading yesterday morning, which is why i moved to that book. now what to do....

gee
thanks for rubbing it in my face alexis
i had a 2 day head start against you and you still finish before me
i'm not even close to finishing D:
i must be the worlds slowest reader

ur welcome, and no ur not Bri reads way slower than u, same with Kare. haha, u now that Chocolate amv thing i showed u? I recorded it on my camera so i can watch it anytime, but i think I'm gona delete it cuz it will waste memory. hmm.. me bored. watchin it on the camera as i type this -lmao. . oo, and btw, i relle hate the actor that is Edward!! well, i'll say strongly dislike....

hmm.. can't wait 'til 12-12-08!! I hope when they go into the wolf form they aren't normal wolves, they have to be the size of horses!! I went on DeviantArt to see some pics people made of Seth, and I saw his actor. anyways, i always thought Seth was a grey wolf, but maybe thats Leah.. idk, i never remember anyones color except Jacob's... cuz some people had Seth as a like tan color, but i think i might remember that.. anyways Fair is this weekend!! gah! im so not ready. lol. I asked Sarah on monday if i could use her bleach sprayer to spray elly's stall before I put her in it and she said i could like always, then she told me to tell everyone, " when u spray your stall, if u can walk out breathing normally, u didn't spray it enough" haha i thought it was funny...

haha, i was just looking through the book (Breaking Dawn) to try and find something, and i came across this which i meant to remind u of: Whenever I tried to talk to him into taking it easy with one of the million DVDs under the big-screen plasma TV, he would lure me out of the house with magic words like [i]coral reefs[/i] and [i]submerged caves[/i] and [i]seas turtles[/i]. haha i thought it was funny...

evil! the stuff didn't go into italics

haha, now i should probably stop reading the whole book again, but heres another funny thing: this is bella talking: "If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund". hehe

haha i love breaking dawn
i only have one chapter left
and i have no idea why
but i don't wanna read it
i think its because i don't want the book to end

wow, I always type a lot on here. ummm... yeah right now I'm wearing my baby blue guy shorts, a red t-shirt and that music hoddie that i bought from school, and I have a hat on under that that my sister got for me in Europe, and i was like.. wow... I look like a guy... ((cuz u cant see my hair)) I smell like smoke... I wore this hoodie when I went camping. I HATE the rain!! normally I love thunder storms, but not during fair!!! evil!! now I can't go super fast barrel racing last year I went faster than I should have and it was wet and Elly fell and I almost flew off. it was kinda funny. then i got bucked off like 10 minutes later hehe I'm such a horribe riderXD grrr... leavin for fair in 10 minutes!! yayyayyay!!!!

yay! good luck!!!!
ily!!!!

omg guess what!?!? Elly and I freaking rocked at fair!! wooo!!! we did awesome!! My sister recorded it on her camera and I watched it and we looked goo the whole time ((headset entire time too!!)) however, I didn't place in ANY of my 9 total classes((split into 2 days)) however I came in 7th in most of them. so i got a participation ribbon. but guess what!! not counting me, there were 20 frreaking horses in my Senior division I was competing against, AND the arena was a mud pit!! EVERYONE came out with their show clothes stained and probably ruined, with their horse covered in mud. Except Elly and I were the worst, because Elly flicks her feet(special ttraining)) so she ended up flicking much at herself and me, and her face was covered in mud splatter too cuz she was trying to eat thje mud....O.o... lol. So yeah, I did trail class sunday((obstacle course)) fit&show((horses confirmation-looks correct body structure)), pleasure((how pleasurable horse is)), equitation((my posture)), and road hack ((extentions of trot-extended trot, and of canter-hand gallop)) on Monday, good thing hunter hack was cancelled or there weould have been more casualties((jumping class)). then today I had games!! yay!!! the games consist of 3 different barrel racing patterns ((Texas T, cloverleaf, and keyhole)) as well as pole bending. so it was all relle fun and Elly was absolutely wonderful, I was just so gald that i didn't get bucked off during games! lol. I dont ever care how I place cuz I just try to have fun, and I had sooo much!! yeah right now I'm eating cookie dough icecream tho it is making me sick, and I'm going to go in the spa soon. I wont include the interesting stories of how my friends fell off/got bucked off/ got trampled. but I'll just say this short thing: the one girl half jumped off half fell when her horse bucked, other girl's horse fell on its side and she rolled off, and other fell off randomly then horse jumped over her,((Was pretty funny, she sat up in the mud and just sat there laughing while her horse started to eat some mud. umm....then I stalked my bestest friend Dave. he was the Fit&sHOW and trail judge and he owns a line of tack shops called Pat's Tack. hmmm so many long and interestin stories so little time. Hope this was interestin! I'll see if I'm able to put at least one of the barrel racing vids up ((maybe a link....)) but we didnt go very fast cuz Elly is so lazy and if I try to make her go faster she bucks- but when I was riding I thought we were going fast, I guess not... anyways.. bye!

OO!! i totally forgot to say this and I remmbererdddd after I started reading the rp, but I stole Lauren's (my friend, Annie knos her)) horse. Not literally, we had to trailer him home and him and Elly are both paints, so they make a cute couple and they do get along, so when we got back to the barn and Lauren had stayed behind at Fair, everyone was like "where the heck is Lauren?" and i was like "oh, I stole Lakota" and then I told them I was only kidding, cuz i think the one old lady took me seriously..... :/ o well. i thoght i was kinda funnni cuz everyone was confuzled

hahha ily alex
you're so weird
but in a good way

XD thanx. my mom relle likes Lakota cuz he's so calm. Lauren got him from the same person that we got Peanut from ((Billy Hopkins-well known horse auctioneer)) hmmm.. my mom already wants to get another horse, she is so crazy. lol but I'm all for it! haha

hahah yeah
cause you're selling Sadie, aren't you?
i'm pretty sure you are
and when you do then you'll only have Elly
and it'll be nice for Elly to have a friend